and then the reality hits…

So here I am> happily going along, making plans for my future, and WHAM!, reality drops in for a visit…

We had a lovely morning. I made a nicer breakfast than our usual bowl of cereal and coffee. Everyone was in good spirits despite the pouring rain outside. I shooed everyone out the door to work and school and sat down with the remains of my breakfast tea. 

There on the table was my daughter’s transcript, and the instruction sheet for filling out her course request form for next year. All of a sudden my mind flashed back to 30 minutes ago when I signed her CRF. In my mind’s eye, I could see the “12” in the upper right corner. Crap. This is really happening. My baby is almost a senior. I started to cry.

It was so immediate, so real, so clear. This is really happening. I remembered going through this with my son last year. One moment we were caught up in the day-to-day details> fill out this paper, reply to that school’s email, where do we get your transcript?, and soon after, I’m standing in his doorway remembering his floor littered with Lego’s and Pokemon cards. My mind says, “This is how it’s supposed to be.”  My heart cries out, “So soon?”

Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but that’s who I am. I want to savor every moment of this time, make the minutes count, enjoy their company while we are still in this stage together.  I will cherish this time of changes, of rollercoaster emotions. 

Then we will build new relationships, no longer as child and parent, but as adults and friends.

(fingers crossed….. :>)


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